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PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY 1 

15 CENTS EACH 

p 

CRANFORD DAMES. 2 Scenes; 1^ hours 8 

GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. 1 Act; 30 minutes 7 

CHEERFUL. COMPANION. 1 Act; 25 minutes 2 

LESSON IN ELEGANCE. 1 Act; £0 minutes 4 

MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 3 Acts; 1 34 hours 6 

MURDER WILL OUT. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

ROMANCE OF PHYLLIS. 3 Acts; 1)£ hours 4 

SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 1 Act; 45 minutes 5 

OUTWITTED. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 

WHITE DOVE OF ONEIDA. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 4 

SWEET FAMILY. 1 Act; 1 hour 8 

BELLES OF BLACKVILLE. 1 Act; 2 hours 30 

PRINCESS KIKU. (25 cents) 13 

RAINBOW KIMONA. (25 cents.) 2 Acts; \% hours 9 

MERRY OLD MAIDS. (25 cents.) Motion Song M 

PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY 

15 CENTS EACH 

APRIL FOOLS. lAct; 30 minutes 3 

BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40minutes ., 6 

DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 3 

WANTED, A MAHATMA. 1 Act; 30 mi tea 4 

HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 

MANAGER'S TRIALS. lAct; 1 hour 9 

MEDICA. 1 Act; 35 minutes 7 

NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

SLIM JIM AND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 

WANTED. A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

SNOBSON'S STAG PARTY. 1 Act; 1 hour 12 

PICKLES AND TICKLES. 1 Act; 20 minutes 6 

HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes 10 

CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI. Mock Trial; 2 hours.... 28 

DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Mock Trial. 22 

GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 

RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; 1^ hours 24 

DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y, 




AN IRISH EDEN 



%n Sttsfy €ome&p SDtama in €fu*ee &ct& 



BY 

GEORGE M. ROSENER 

AUTHOR OF "SLEEPY HOLLOW/ "COAST FOLKS," "SHERIFF OF 
TUCKAHOE," "THE FROZEN TRAIL," ETC., ETC. 



Copyright, 191 i, by Dick & Fitzgerald 



# 



NEW YORK 

DICK & FITZGERALD 

18 ANN STREET 



r 






^CLD 23935 



Note. — The acting rights of this Play are expressly re- 
served by the Publishers to whom Theatrical Managers 
should apply who wish to produce it. Amateur representa- 
tion may be made without such application and without 
charge. 

AN IEISH EDEN. 



CHARACTERS. 



* Father Duffy, age 50 The Parish Priest 

Father O'Brien, age 30 His Assistant 

Nellie Duffy, age 21 His Niece 

Doctor Nolan, age 68 His Life-long Friend 

* Mrs. Murphy, age 45 His Housekeeper 

* Mrs. Patric, age 30 His Cousin 

* Mike Patric, age 35 His Cousin-in-law 

John Nolan, age 25 A Young Lawyer 

* Anna Eyan, age 18 In Love with Tom 

Tom Blake, age 20 In love with Anna 

May Dempsey, age 21 A False Friend 

Harrison Woodworth, age 35 A Soldier of Fortune 

Louis Schmidt, age 40 The Butcher 

Aunt Susan, age 60 Nellie's old Nurse 

The Patric Children. 

Time of Performance. — Two Hours. 

Time. — The present. 

Locality. — A small village on the Hudson sometimes called 
the " Garden of Eden." 

Act I. — Exterior of Father Duffy's home. 
Act II. — Same. Two years later. 
Act III. — Same. One month later. 



4 An Irish Eden. 

Notes. — All characters marked * are portrayed with a 

slight Irish dialect. 

Cue music for the rise and fall of all curtains, and as 
incidental music should be " Come Back to Erin." (Sup- 
plied by the Publishers at 40 cents per copy.) Any popular 
air may be used for the words, " I wonder where you are to- 
night my love/' sung in Act I. 

The Patric Children should be six in number, but can be 
less. Their ages range from six to fourteen. 



SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. 

Act I. — The arrival of the chops. Mrs. Murphy is called 
a " cuckoo," which gives her food for thought. The juvenile 
" cyclone " with mother interferes with Mrs. Murphy's final 
decision. Anna and Tom quarrel and then make up. Dr. 
Nolan's game of checkers and his absent-mindedness. May 
and Harrison scheme against Nellie. Anna and Tom en- 
gaged; also Nellie and John. Nellie refuses Harrison's 
proffered love and makes him her enemy. 

Act II. — Dr. Nolan's butterfly. Nellie's sick baby. May 
and Harrison have another meeting. Nellie's despair. 
Harrison's trickery and Nellie's decision. Tom and Anna 
again quarrel and once more make-up. Schmidt's " Ich 
liebe dich " and its results. The Van Sloan party where 
Nellie finds John. The death of the baby. 

Act III. — Father Duffy's case with the devil. John 
and Nellie want to separate. The wedding of Tom and 
Anna. Father Duffy's diplomacy and happy results. 



COSTUMES. 

Father O'Brien, is played in a quiet manner. Act I. — 
Black cassock and Roman collar. 

Father Duffy, is played good-naturedly, quiet in manner 
but with a sly sense of humor. Act I. — Black summer suit, 
Roman collar, straw hat. Act II. — Cassock and barretta. 

Nellie Duffy, is played in a light-hearted and care-free 
manner in Act I. Act I. — Light summer dress, summer hat. 
Act II. — Long dress. Act III. — Mourning dress. 



An Irish Eden, 5 

Doctor Nolan. A man of nervous temperament, quick 
in all movements. White hair, half bald. Summer crash 
suit. 

Mrs. Murphy. Good-natured Irish woman about 40. 
Mixed grey wig, parted in center. Wrapper and apron. 

Mrs. Patric. A matured woman, but not old. Can best 
be described as a young, pretty, matured woman. Plain 
shirt waist and skirt. 

Mike Patric. Big, powerful man; should be played with 
abandon, and withal he is big-hearted and whole-souled. 
Eough pants, shirt, hat. 

John Nolan. Young man of noble character and carries 
himself as such. Act I. — Light summer suit. Act II. — 
Black business suit. Act III. — Black suit; traveling bag. 

Anna Ryan. Young girl of to-day, pretty, good-natured, 
but inclined to be self-willed. Must be played with a lot of 
spirit and girlishness. Act I. — Modern summer dress. 
Act III. — Bridal gown and wreath. 

Tom Blake. Young man of to-day. Is played manly and 
sincerely. Modern summer suit, straw hat similar to 
Father Duffy's. 

May Dempsey. She is inclined to be superior and snob- 
bish. Act I. — Light summer dress. Act II. — White lawn 
dress, sunshade. 

Harrison Woodworth, is played very much the easy going 
man of the world. Act I. — Light summer suit of somewhat 
exaggerated pattern. Act II. — Traveling suit. 

Louis Schmidt. A German blonde, half bald, speaks with 
a dialect and is played quickly and vivaciously. Act I. — 
Colored shirt, dark pants, butcher's apron, straw hat, very 
flashy necktie, and red bandana handkerchief. Act II. — 
Sunday suit. 

Aunt Susan. Typical Southern Mammy, somewhat bent 
with age. Calico dress, white apron, red bandana handker- 
chief on her head. 



PROPERTIES. 

Act I. — Stage properties as in scene-plot at head of Act. 
Prayer book for Father O'Brien. Butcher's basket and 
package of chops for Schmidt. - Cigars, checker-board and 



6 An Irish Eden. 

checkers for Dr. Nolan. Dinner pail ior Mike Patric. 
Water bucket for Mrs. Murphy. Pebbles for John. Cigar 
for Harrison. 

Act II. — About twenty boxes and bundles for Anna. 
Necktie for Tom. Butterfly net, spectacles for Dr. Nolan. 
Bible for Father Duffy. Sunshade for May. 

Act III. — Legal documents, fountain pen for Father 
Duffy. Traveling bag for John Nolan. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience, r. 
means right hand, L. left hand of the stage; c. centre; r. c. 
right, l. c left of centre; L. 1 e., l. 2 e., l. 3 e., first, second, 
third, left entrances ; r. 1 e., etc., first, second, third, right en- 
trances. Up, means up stage toward rear; down, down stage 
toward footlights. 



AN IEISH EDEN- 



act i. 

Scene. — Landscape along the Hudson.. Wood wings.. Hedge 
runs from right to left up stage, with an opening in the 
center. House sets down right. Right of centre down 
stage is a set tree under which is a wash bench. Down 
left is a rustic table and two chairs. 
Music at rise is played until Mrs. Murphy is well on. 

(DISCOVEKED Father O'Brien walking bach and forth 
across stage reading a prayer book.) 

ENTER Mrs. Murphy from house, fanning herself with 
apron. During her speech she walks down and sits on 
wash-bench r. 

Mrs. Murphy. Phew! Never in all me life have I seen 
such hot weather. And here's the door standin' wide open 
so as to let all the flies in. The next wan that conies in this 
house and fergets to close that door will get a piece of my 
mind as long as a dusty road. 

Father O'Brien (coming down stage). You seem excited 
Mrs. Murphy. 

Mrs. M. Excuse me, Father O'Brien, but I'm that excited 
with the heat that I think I'll bust. Sure you got home from 
your visit early, Father. 

Father O'B. Yes, I must go to bed with the chickens, 
to-night. I have a five o'clock mass to say in the morning, 
you know. 

Mrs. M. (jumps to her feet in surprise). What do you 
think of that? I had forgotten all about your savin' early 
mass. (Goes up to house.) I'll be gettin* yer tea ready in 
a minute. (Looks off, r.) Here comes Mr. Schmidt with 
the chops now. 



8 An Irish Eden. 

ENTEK Schmidt r. 3, carrying butcher's "basket and pack- 
age of chops. 

Schmidt. Goot evenings, Mrs. Moypee. Goot evenings. 
Father O'Brien. 

Father O'B. Good evening, Mr. Schmidt. 

Mrs. M. Have you brought me the chops, Louis? 

Schmidt (handing package to Mrs. Murphy). Sure, here 
dey iss. 

Mrs. M. (opens package, examines it, and nods her head 
approvingly). They look all right. You know the last you 
sent over were no good, and I waltzed them right back 
again. 

Schmidt. Iss dot so? Dot iss mine clerk's fault. I will 
see him about dot. Goot evenings, everybody. (Goes up 
stage, turns to Mrs. M.) Say, Mrs. Moypee 

Mrs. M. And what is it now? 

Schmidt. You iss a cuckoo. (Waves a red bandana hand- 
kerchief at Mrs. M.) [EXIT l. 3. 

Mrs. M. Did you hear that, Father? 

Father O'B. Did I hear what? 

Mrs. M. Did you hear the pet name he called me ? 

Father O'B. He called you a cuckoo, did he not? 

Mrs M. He did. And wasn't that swate of him? 

Father O'B. That's for you to judge. 

Mrs. M. (looks about cautiously). Father, (whispers), 
what do you think of a woman of my age gettin* married? 

Father O'B. (knowingly). Oh, I begin to understand. 

Mrs. M. Understand, is it? Sure, understand what? 

Father O'B. Understand the meaning of all this cuckoo 
business. So Schmidt has been proposing, has he? 

Mrs. M. Well, not exactly. But first give me your ad- 
vice on a woman of my age gettin' married, and to a Dutch- 
man, at that. 

Father O'B. If he loves you and you love him, what more 
need be said? 

Mrs. M. You see, it is this way. Schmidt has been call- 
ing on me now for a matter of seven years, he wants to marry 
me, but he ain't got the spunk to tell me so.^ Every time he 
gets to the proposin' point he gits that excited with fright 
that he grabs his hat and is of! as if the devil was after him. 
(Father O'B. laughs heartily.) 

ENTER Father Duffy, r. 3. 

Father Duffy. Tell me the joke, I like to laugh, you 
know. 



An Irish Eden. 9 

Father O'B. Here is Father Duffy. He can give you 
sounder advice on these matters than any man in the land. 
(Crosses to house.) I will leave you in his hands. (Turns 
and loohs at Mrs. M.) Cuckoo. 

[EXIT laughing, into house. 

Father D. Well, I haven't heard the joke yet. 

Mrs. M. (embarrassed). Well we — well we were talkin' 
of marriage. 

Father D. Marriage is it — and do you call that a joke? 

Mrs. M. The parties in discussion was Mr. Schmidt and 
meself. 

Father D. I see — Isee. 

Mrs. M. I'll be axin' the advice of no wan. Ter all 
makin' sport of me. 

Father D. (crosses and sits in chair r. of table). Indeed 
I am not. It is right that you should marry and I, for one, 
am glad to hear that you have come to such a sensible 
decision. Follow the dictates of your own honest heart, Mrs. 
Murphy, and you cannot go far from wrong. So you are 
thinking of being a real Mrs. after all? 

Mrs. M. It does seem kinder funny, don't it ? Sure, I 
have been known as Mrs. Murphy for the last ten years. The 
name Mrs. just seemed to kinder fit on me, I guess, and I've 
got so used to the name that if any wan was ter call me 
Miss Murphy I would think that they were trying ter poke 
fun at me and me Irish would be up in a minute. 

ENTER Mrs Patric with all the children, l. 3. 

Mrs. Patric. The top of the evening to you all. I am 
after taking the children out for a walk and thought I might 
come this way. 

Father D. (rising). Good evening, Delia. And here are 
all the children. Come here, me little darlints. (Sits bach 
in chair. The children all rush to him, climbing all over 
him and the chair.) 

Children (all at once). I want to sit on his knee. I got 
here first. Get away. Mama. Make him let me sit here. 
Stop pushing, will you. (Ad libitum.) 

Mrs. P. Come away, children, can't you see you are an- 
noying the Father? 

Father D. Tut, tut, Delia, I love to have them about, 
every one of them. Ah, they're a fine brood of little chickens ; 
you have great reasons to be proud of them, Delia. 

Mrs. M. (pointing to Father Duffy and the Children). 



10 An Irish Eden. 

Its meself that's thinkin' that Mr. Teddy Roosevelt should 
see that picture. There's a sight to warm the cockles of 
his heart. 

Father D. (laughing heartily). Now for that remark 
Mrs. Murphy, I charge you to take all these youngsters into 
the house and give them each, one of those cookies you 
baked this morning. 

[EXIT Mrs. Murphy into house, followed by the children, 
shouting and making all possible noise. 

Mrs. P. I think I'll be going in to look after them. If 
I am not there, they will be getting into all kinds of 
mischief. Father, if my husband passes here on his way 
home from work, tell him where I am. (Goes to door 
of house.) And if he wants to go right home to tea, tell 
him there's a good hot supper waitin' for him, that I saw 
to meself, and his sister Bessie will wait on him. 

[EXIT into house. 

(Father Duffy has been sitting quietly throughout this 
speech as if in deep meditation. After Mrs. Patric's 
exit he looks up as if bewildered.) 

Father D. Now I wonder what she told me to tell her 
husband. Sure I was thinkin' of something else all the 
while she was talking. 

ENTER Anna r. 2, walking fast, and followed closely by 
Tom. Anna is in a temper, and Tom is trying to 
explain. They do not seem to observe Father Duffy at 
their entrance.) 

Tom. Now listen, let me explain all. 

Anna (with a stamp of her foot). No, I tell you, I 

I won't listen to you. I never want to see you again. 

[EXIT l. 2, in a huff, followed by Tom. 

Tom. Listen, will you ? Give a fellow a chance to explain. 

[EXIT l. 2. 
Father D. (shivering). But-r-r. What an awful snow 
storm we are having. 

(Anna and Tom RE-ENTER l. 2, walking very fast.) 

Tom. Why don't you let me explain. 

Anna. Because it isn't necessary, Mr. Blake. 

Father D. Sure this looks like the wind up of a county 
fair in the old country. (Anna and Tom in their desire to 
explain, both talk at the same time.) 



An Irish £den. II 

Tom. She says she saw me when she didn't. Because 
I haven't spoken to another girl the whole day, and 

Anna. He did. He did. He did. I saw him. 

Father D. One at a time. One at a time. I'm not 
twins and I cannot listen to you each separately and both 
at the same time. 

Anna. I saw him, Father. I saw him. 

Father D. And what was he doing pray? 

Anna. He was buying soda water for Mary McCormic. 

Tom. Father, don't you believe it. I wasn't doing any 
such thing. 

Anna. Oh what a story. Why, I saw you with my own 
eyes. 

Father D. Are you sure it was Tom ye did see? Was 
it his face? 

Anna. No, I only saw his back, but I knew it was Tom, 
because he wore a straw hat and — and — well, I saw the straw 
hat. 

Father D. Sure that's no evidence. Tom was not the 
only man wearing a straw hat at the picnic. I wore one 
meself. 

Tom. That's just what I tried to tell her. 

Father D. And in regard to Mary McCormic, I have 
something to say there. Mary comes to me at the picnic 
and says to me says she " Father, I'll draw straws with you 
to see who pays for the soda water." " Done " says I. And 
being a lucky man, Mary pays for the soda water. 

Tom. There you are. It was Father Duffy who was 
drinking soda water with Mary McCormic, and just because 
you saw his straw hat you imagined it was me. 

Anna {half ashamed and confused). Well, well, I thought 
that 

Tom. Oh, yes, you thought. Men have had their heads 
cut off for that kind of thinking. Father, what would you 
do in a case like this ? 

Father D. My advice is : If ye cannot agree, don't speak 
to each other for a whole year. Be like the figure eleven; 
two separate and silent ones. 

Anna. Oh, I couldn't stand that. If Tom didn't speak 
to me, I — I — would never get over it. (Starts to cry, her 
arms across her eyes.) 

Father D. (turns his hack on them and looks off r. ; aside). 
Sure, now I've started something. 

Tom (talcing Anna in his arms, her head resting on his 
shoulder). There — there — Anna — don't cry. Please don't 



12 An Irish Eden. 

cry. Anna, will you please stop crying? If you don't stop 
it, you will have me doing the same thing. 

Anna. I — I — want to go home. 

Tom {trying to console her, leads her off L. 2). All right. 
All right. I will do anything you want if you will only stop 
crying. [EXIT Tom and Anna, l. 2. 

Father D. Now, me children, listen to what I have to 
say — {Turns, sees they have left him alone and is 
surprised). Gone, and without so much as a word of thanks 
for me kind advice. Father Duffy, mind your own business. 
{Sits in chair r. of table.) 

ENTEK Dr. Nolan l. 3, carrying checker-board and 
checkers. As he comes down he slams checker-board 
on table. 

Father D. {jumps from chair in alarm). Are you tryhV 
to scare the life out of me? 

Dr. Nolan. Ah! Ah! At last I have found you ! 

Father D. What's the matter with you ? Have you a 
sun stroke, or is this some new kind oi hide and seek that 
you are playing? 

Dr. Nolan. Neither one. Neither one. I just wish to 
show you that you were wrong. See here — {Arranges the 
checkers on the board.) In that game of checkers which 
we played last night 

Father D. Have you taken leave of your senses, man? 
Sure, I never played checkers with you in all me life. 

Dr. Nolan. To be sure. To be sure. It was Father 
O'Brien. Dear me, I am getting to be so absent-minded. 

Father D. Getting to be absent-minded? I've known 
you for forty years and you've been absent-minded ever since 
I knew you. 

Dr. Nolan. Prove it, sir. Prove it, sir. I defy you to 
prove it. 

Father D. Do you remember the days when we were 
boys together in the old country? 

Dr. Nolan {sitting in chair l. of table). Indeed I do. 

Father D. Now call to mind a certain day that we went 
swimming in the old swimming hole back of the blacksmith's 
shop. 

Dr. Nolan. We went swimming there many times. 

Father D. Indeed we did. On this certain day I'm 
telling of, you were so absent-minded that you forgot where 
you laid your clothes and you had to go home in a barrel. 
{Laughs heartily.) 



An Irish Eden, 13 

Dr. Nolan. Nothing of the sort, sir. Nothing of the sort 
ever happened. 

Father D. Sure you must remember it. Do ye mind, 
you loaned me three shillings that very same day. 

Dr. Nolan. Oh yes. I loaned you three shillings which 
you never payed back. I had forgotten all about that. 
Dear me, I am getting so absent-minded. 

Father D. I should say you are. You are so absent- 
minded that you have forgotten my paying it back to you 
the very next day. 

Dr. Nolan. Oh yes, I had forgotten that also. Dear me, 
I am getting so absent-minded. Have a cigar? (Gives 
Father Duffy a cigar. Then absent-mindedly picks up a 
checker and thinking it is a match, he attempts to strike it on 
his pants.) 

Father D. What new experiment is this you are trying 
now? 

Dr. Nolan. I am trying to strike a light. 

Father D. Well, man, you cannot do it with a checker. 

Dr. Nolan (looks at checker, then lays it down on table). 
Upon me soul, I am getting so absent-minded. 

Father D. (striking match, holds it for Dr. Nolan; they 
both smoke). Doctor, it is a good thing you stopped practic- 
ing medicine long ago. Though I sometimes think that if 
you still were practicing and went in business with some 
undertaker, you would get him considerable business. Your 
absent-mindedness would come in handy there. 

Dr. Nolan. What do you mean? 

Father D. Sure, I was only joking. You were a clever 
and successful doctor, no one can deny that, and the good 
you have done humanity in your time will be no little 
credit to your account hereafter. 

Dr. Nolan. Father Duffy, you will have your joke. You 
joke so much and I am getting so absent-minded that half 
of the time I forget to laugh. (Breaks into a high pitched 
and almost cackling laugh.) 

Father D. Doctor, are you laughing, sneezing, crying or 
coughing, or all four at once? 

Dr. Nolan. Bless me if I know. I am getting that absent- 
minded that I don't know which. 

Father D. It doesn't matter I suppose, so long as you 
enjoy it. 

ENTER Mrs. M. from house, crosses behind table. 



14 An Irish Eden. 

Mrs. M. Father, tea is ready. Will I serve it out here, or 
will you come in the house? 

Father D. I think I will go in doors. Will you stop to 
tea. Doctor? 

Dr. Nolan. I should be delighted. 

Mrs. M. Do you like green or black tea, Doctor? 

Dr. Nolan. I have forgotten. Dear me, I am getting so 
absent-minded. 

Father D. Well, as we know his nationality, I think 
green tea would be more to his likin' ! 

Mrs. M. Then come in before the chops get cold. Come 
Doctor. (Crosses to house, doctor follows her.) 

Dr. Nolan (handing Mrs. Murphy a cigar). Oh yes, 
have a cigar. 

(Mrs. M. is indignant, though she keeps the cigar. In her 
indignation she does not realize that she is doing this.) 

Mrs. M. Well, the idea ! I don't smoke. 

Dr. Nolan, Of course not, I had forgotten. I am getting 
so absent-minded. [EXIT into house. 

Father D. (crosses to house, rubbing his chin with his 
hand. At house he turns to Mrs. M.). Mrs. Murphy, will 
you have a match for your cigar, or will you smoke it after 
supper? [EXIT laughing, into house. 

Mrs. M. (throwing down cigar with great force). Well, I 
never was so put upon in all me life. 

[EXIT into house. 

ENTER Mike Patric r. 3, carrying dinner pail. He pauses 
at gate and whistles. 

(A great shout is heard in the house and all the children 
come tumbling on. They rush to him, surrounding him, 
and all clammer for his dinner pail.) 

Children (all talk at once). Its my turn, Dad. Its my 
turn to carry home the dinner pail to-night. 

Mike (gives dinner pail to one of the children). Easy, me 
little men and women, it's William's turn to-night. 

ENTER Mrs. Patric from house. 

Mike. And Delia, is that you? And how have these little 
rascals behaved this day? 

Mrs. P. Sure, as good as could be expected. Fine 
weather like this seems to put all sorts of mischief in their 
heads. Four of them was with me to the picnic. 



An Irish Eden. 1$ 

Mike. It has been a fine day for picnicing and by that 
same token, a fine night it will be, to be sure. Just the kind 
of a night that you and me used to walk along the road, arm 
in arm, twelve years ago. Do you remember that, eh? 
(Gently nudges her with elbow.) 

Mrs. P. (shyly). For shame, Mike. You are an old 
married man, and your — your — talkin' — like a — I don't know 
Arhat. 

Mike. Sure, its yourself that's blushm' like a school girl. 

Mrs. P. Mike, keep quiet, will you. 

Mike. If you don't stop that blushin' I will be after 
kissin' your cheeks to make them the redder. (Children 
surround them; some behind Mrs. Patric, some behind Mike. 
They shove them to bring them together, all shouting at the 
same time.) 

Children. Go on, dad. Go on, go on, kiss her. 

Mike. Shall I? 

Children. Yes, yes. 

Mike (takes Mrs. P. in his arms and kisses her). There 
now. 

Children. Hurrah ! Hurrah ! 

Mike. Now then, off we go to supper. Delia, me darlin', 
you take me arm. (Swings the smallest of the children to 
his shoulder. Mrs. Patric takes his arm.) 

[All EXIT l. 3. 

(Music is played until next characters are well on.) 

EN TEE r. 2. Nellie Duffy, May Dempsey, and Harrison 

Woodworth. 

Nellie (carrying summer hat). Here we are at last. 
(Looks off l.) And there go the Patrics and all the children. 

May. And a nice lot of mischiefs they are. 

Nell. May, how can you say such a thing! (Places her 
arm about May's waist). What is the matter with you to- 
day? You seem to be grieving about something, what is it? 

May. I, grieving? I should like to catch myself at it. 
There is nothing in this world that is worth it. 

Harrison. A sensible idea, if you ask me. 

Nell. Pshaw! You are both trying to corner the 
melancholy market. Take my word for it, you will get 
nothing but worry for your trouble. (Crosses to house). 
Now that you are here, of course you will stay to supper, 
then we will 

May. Thank you, I have a prior engagement. 



x6 An Irish Eden. 

Harrison. I should like to very much, but I have a 
concert in town. Some of our old friends are going to have 
a big musicale. Wish you could be there. 

Nell. Thank you, I prefer the country. Well, if you 
won't stop to supper and you won't come inside, wait until 
I put my hat away and have a cup of tea, then I will walk as 
far as the station with you. 

Harrison. Fine. 

Nell. I will not be long. [EXIT into house. 

May (looking after her). I hate her. 

Harrison. And I love her. 

May. Excuse me, I had forgotten that you were present. 

Harrison (sarcastically). Thank you, you are very con- 
siderate, to say the least. 

May. Your sarcasm is wasted on me, Mr. Harrison. You 
know that. 

Harrison. I was ignorant of that fact until just now, I 
assure you. This much I do know, you are quite the 
pleasantest girl I have ever met, I — dont — think! 

May. That's right, use slang; it becomes you better. 

Harrison (imitating her). Your sarcasm is wasted on me, 
Miss Dempsey. You know that. And I guess that's getting 
back. 

May. You are an idiot. 

Harrison. Permit me to return the compliment. 

May. Keep it, you will need it yourself. 

Harrison. Do you know, you and I should be great 
friends. When we are alone we immediately become as 
sociable as two strange bull dogs. 

May. I wonder if Nell is ever coming! 

Harrison. She will be here in good time, never fear. 

May. Look here, where did you meet her? 

Harrison. It's a long story. 

May. Is it so terrible that it must be kept a secret? 

Harrison. No, indeed. I thought you knew. 

May. We know nothing of her, except that she is the 
niece of Father Duffy. She came here three years ago, went 
to board with the Patrics, and has been there ever since. 

Harrison. That girl is the biggest fool on earth. 

May. I always thought so. 

Harrison. But not in the way you mean. She could by 
now be earning a salary of a hundred dollars a week. 

May. If you will kindlv tell your story consecutively and 
not in sections, I would be grateful. 

Harrison. Drop your sarcasm for a minute and I will 



An Irish Kden. 17 

give you the facts just as they are or were, whichever you 
like. Father Duffy had a brother, one James Duffy, who 
some years ago was one of New York's foremost lawyers. 
He married and had one daughter; Nell was his only child 
and he idolized her. He was an honest sort of a man who 
loved his wife with a deep and tender devotion, and her 
sudden death all but caused him to follow her immediately. 
I think it was about a year after his wife's death that he 
went to South America with the hope of forgetting the past, 
instead of which he brooded himself into a state of perpetual 
melancholia. He seemed to have forgotten all about his 
relations because neither Father Duffy nor any of the 
family ever heard from him after he left New York. When 
Nell reached the age of seventeen, he died, and Nell found 
herself alone in the world and thrown on her own resources. 
{Lights cigar and smokes.) 

May. Well? 

Harrison. Well, Nell possessed a beautiful voice and took 
to doing concert work for a living. She sang in all the big 
churches and at the leading musicales of the southern 
continent. It was in Brazil that I was first presented to her 
and afterward became her manager. Then we came North, 
that is to say Nell, myself, and her old colored nurse who 
raised her from childhood. When we reached New York, 
society clammered for her services. One night she sang 
at St. Patrick's Cathedral; when she was leaving the church 
an old Irish woman, who knew her mother in days gone by, 
recognized the strong resemblance in Nell ; she inquired after 
her parents. That started it. She was put in communica- 
tion with Father Duffy, and you know the rest. 

May. And the sequel to this interesting story? 

Harrison. You know that. 

May. The conclusion, yesfe but not the sequel. 

Harrison. There is no sequel, save that if Nell had 
remained under my management I would have made her 
wealthy. 

May. She is that already. 

Harrison. Eh ? 

May {points off r. Harrison looks same way). Do you 
see that big house and grounds down there? 

Harrison. Yes. 

May. It once belonged to her father; it now belongs to 
her, together with some thousand shares in the Star Boiling 
Mill up the river. 

Harrison {whistles in surprise). 



18 An Irish Eden. 

May. That awakens your avaricious nature, doesn't it? 

Harrison. Look here Miss Dempsey, I know your secret 
and you know mine. I love Nell, and you love John Nolan; 
by a strange coincidence they love each other. Now is it not 
plainly evident that it is to our mutual interests to keep 
them apart? 

May. That can only be done by lying, scheming, and 
deception. Remember, I am not altogether void of con- 
science. 

Harrison. Why not work hand in hand? We need not 
commit even the smallest venial sin to gain our ends; we 
need but be cautious and diplomatic to see our ambitions 
attained. Together we stand, divided we stand no chance 
at all. 

May. Oh, I hate myself for listening to you. 

Harrison. A foolish policy and a false one, I assure you. 

May (with emotion). Yes, I am false. False to my 
Maker, my friends, and myself. (Laughter is heard from 
house.) 

Harrison. Here comes Father Duffy now. I will take 
this opportunity to ask him for Nellie's hand. You run 
down to Smith's drug store and wait for me there. Wait, 
that absent-minded doctor is with him, I will walk with you 
as far as the station and then return. Come. 

[EXIT Harrison and May, l. 3. 
ENTER Father Duffy from house, followed by Dr. Nolan. 

Father D. If you don't stop your absent-minded business, 
Doctor, I shall be in my grave from laughing. 

Dr. Nolan. What have I done now? I see nothing 
funny. 

Father D. Well, I do. You stirred your tea with the 
celery and tried to eat a spoon. (Crosses L. and lays hat on 
the table.) 

Dr. Nolan (laughing heartily). Did I do that? I shall 
have to be going now. I enjoyed my visit immensely. 
(Crosses l., puts on Father Duffy's hat and starts up c. 
carrying his own.) 

Father D. One moment — one moment, Doctor. Come 
back with my hat. 

Dr. Nolan. Eh? 

Father D. It is the only one I have and goodness knows 
where I am going to get another. 

Dr. Nolan (takes off hat and looks at it in amazement). 



An Irish Eden. 19 

Dear me, I am getting so absent-minded. Good evening, 
Father Duffy. [EXIT r. 3. 

Father D. Good evening, Doctor. (Arranges himself 
comfortably in chair R.) Now I think I will try to get 
a quiet nap. 

ENTER Tom, l. 3, singing "I wonder where you are 
to-night, my love." As he enters he looks about as if 
he lost something. 

Father D. If you are giving this concert for my benefit, 
you may stop whenever you like. 

Tom. Ah, is that you, Father! I lost my fountain pen 
somewhere about here. 

Father D. (helps him to search). Is that so? 

Tom. Father, can you keep a secret? 

Father D. Sure, at home in Ireland I was known as the 
one man that could keep a secret. There's a hard trick for 
an Irishman, eh? 

Tom. Well, then I will tell you. I proposed to Anna 
Ryan to-night. 

Father D. No! 

Tom. Yes, I did. 

Father D. And what did she say ? 

Tom. She said yes. Now what do you think of that? 

Father D. Hurrah for the Ryans and Blakes! Those 
are my sentiments. 

Tom (shaking hands with Father Duffy). Thanks, 
Father, thanks. 

[EXIT L. 3, singing " I wonder where you are to-night." 

Father D. {going back to chair). Now I'll try to get that 
nap. 

ENTER Mrs. M. from house, carrying water bucket and 
singing " I wonder where you are to-night, my love" 

[EXIT l. 2. 
Father D. Another one looking for a lost love. It must 
be that they have all been kidnapped. 

ENTER Schmidt l. 3, crosses and EXITS r. 3 singing " I 
wonder where you are to-night, my love." 

Father D. Is there no one on earth at all at all who has 
not lost his love? It must be an epidemic of some kind. 
Sure, a nap is out of the question now, I wonder if Tom 
found his pen, 



20 An Irish Eden. 

ENTER John Nolan, r. 3. 

John. Good evening, Father. Have you lost something? 

Father D. I'm looking for a lost love. 

John. Eh? 

Father D. I mean a fountain pen. 

John. Is Nellie about, Father? 

Father D. She is in the house, I think. Shall I call her? 

John. Not yet, wait a moment. I didn't come to see 
her, not her alone. I should like to speak to you first. 

Father D. My! How serious you are! 

John. Father, you have known me ever since I was a 
little boy. (Pause.) 

Father D. Well? 

John. You are Nellie's uncle and the only living relative 
she has in the world, that is why I wish to speak to you. 
(Pause.) 

Father D. Go on, my boy. 

John. Pshaw! Why should I beat about the bush? I 
have already spoken to Nellie, Father. I love her and she 
loves me; that is why I have come to you to — to — to — ask 
your consent and blessing. I will do my best to make her 
happy. 

Father D. If my consent is all that is needed to make 
you and Nellie happy, you have that and my blessing goes 
with it. 

John. Thank you, Father, thank you. You don't know 
how happy you have made me. (Shaking Father Duffy's 
hand.) 

Father D. (speaking with mingled emotions). I too am 
happy, my boy. Nellie is a good girl and I am proud to 
know that she is going to get a good man for a husband. It 
is with great pride that I give her away, for she is the 
daughter of my only brother, a man whom I loved only as one 
man can love another. (Takes out handkerchief and tries 
to hide the tears). There — there — I got something in me eye 
(Turns the scene into comedy.) I think I'll be getting in 
the house, out of this damp night air. (Crosses to house , 
sneezes.) There, I told ye. Now I'm in for a nice cold in 
the head. [EXIT into house. 

John. Dear old soul! I wish I were half as good as he 
is, half as kind. (Looks up at the house.) There is a light 
in Nellie's window. I wonder if she is in. (Picks up some 
pebbles, throws them at Nellie's window and calls) Nellie, 
Nellie! Perhaps she isn't in after all. 



An Irish Eden. 21 

ENTER Mrs. Murphy from house. 

Mrs. M. Now — now — what's this? Ain't you grown up 
yet, tryin' to break me windies like some Omadhaum ? 

John. Not at all, Mrs. Murphy. I was trying to get 
Nellie to come out. 

Mrs. M. Then why don't you come in and ask her? 

John. Because I have something important to say to her, 
and the only place for it is out here in the moonlight. 

Mrs. M. Is that so? And when does the marriage take 
place? 

John. Marriage? I said nothing about marriage. 

Mrs. M. No, but you said you had something confidential 
to confide to Nellie out here in the moonlight. And in the 
auld country confidential talks by moonlight mean one of 
two things; marriage, or murder. 

John (laughs). You are a far seeing woman, Mrs. 
Murphy. 

Mrs. M. I'm no fool, mind that. I'll tell Nellie you are 
waitin' for her. She was fixin' her hair when I came out. 

[EXIT into house. 

John (calls after her). Tell her I will wait by the big elm. 

[EXIT r. 2, whistling. 

ENTER Harrison l. 3, holes after John. 

Harrison. Hello, there goes John Nolan. I wonder if 
Nell is still here at Father Duffy's. I'll see. (Starts toward 
house.) 

ENTER Nellie from house. 

Nell. Well, John, have you — Harrison — I thought that — 

Harrison. You thought that John Nolan was here. 

Nell. I — I — yes, I did. 

Harrison. And are you disappointed? 

Nell. Well, of course. 

Harrison. Look here, Nell, you and I are good friends, 
aren't we? 

Nell. Why, of course. What a question to ask. 

Harrison. Can we ever be more than friends ? 

Nell. I don't understand what you mean Harrison. 

Harrison. Nell, I have traveled this whole world over; I 
have met many women in many lands, but I have never 
loved, Nell, until 

Nell. Don't say any more, Harrison. I think I under- 
stand. You are going to say that you love me. If I tell you 



33 Ail Irish Eden. 

that I do not love you, you will be offended and perhaps our 
friendship will cease, and I don't want that to happen, so 
let us say nothing more about it. 

Harrison. Then we can be nothing more than friends? 

Nell. Nothing. 

Harrison. Listen, Nell, before you make a final decision. 
This town was never made for you, or you for the town. Big 
cities are waiting to do your bidding. The public is eager 
to adore you. I will place you in the first ranks of the 
theatrical world. Good Heavens, girl, think! Think! I love 
you, I have always loved you. I will give you love, fame and 
a fortune. Could any woman ask more? Is there anything 
my offer lacks to make it perfect? 

Nell. Yes, there is. 

Harrison. What is it? Name it — name it, and I will give 
it to you. 

Nell. Good friend, do not think that I am so ungrateful 
as not to appreciate your many kindnesses to me, and this 
your last offer of all that makes life worth living. I am 
indeed thankful for the former, and proud of the latter. 
But Harrison, I do not love you, and that is something 
you cannot give me. Besides, I love John Nolan; we are 
engaged. 

Harrison. You will love me, Nell, you must. 

Nell. Don't, Harrison, don't say any more. You 
feel hurt, I can realize that, but don't let your anger get 
control of your better judgment. To-morrow you will see 
things in a different light. Good-night, friend. {Holds out 
her hand.) 

Harrison (refuses it). Nell, you know me well enough to 
realize that I will let nothing stand between me and my 
desires. You cannot turn me down like this without me 
making a fight, I tell you plainly I will either have you for 
my wife, or 

Nell. Or what? 

Harrison. Well, I'll get even, that's all. I won't be the 
only one to suffer, you can take that on the book. 

Nell. Harrison, I always thought you were, with all your 
faults, at least a man; now I have my doubts. 

Harrison. You can't say more than you have already. 
Only understand this — I will be even. Remember that! 
Good-night! [EXIT l. 3. 

Nell. Now I have made him my enemy. I am sure I 
idid my best to retain his friendship. 



An Irish Eden. 23 

ENTER John r. 2. 

John. Nell ! 

Nell. John ! 

John {taking her hands in his). I have spoken to Father 
Duffy. 

Nell. Yes? 

John. And he has given his consent. 

Nell. Oh, I am so glad — so happy! 

John. Now you can name the day. 

Nell. I will leave that to you. 

John. Very well. To-morrow. 

Nell. Oh, not so soon. 

John. When, then? 

Nell. Oh, next month. 

John. Can't you make it sooner than that? 

Nell. Nope. (They both laugh. The town clock strikes 
eight, off stage.) 

Nell. Eight o'clock. 

John. I did not think it was as late as that. Come, 
I will see you home. 

Nell. Oh no, I have a lot to say to my uncle before I go 
home. Now what are you looking so glum about ? 

John (stubbornly). Well — I wanted to see you home. 

Nell. You silly fellow! I can find my way home all 
right, no one will steal me. Now you run along like a nice 
little boy. (Laughs and crosses to house.) 

John. All right, I'll go then on one condition. 

Nell. What is that? 

John. Kiss me good-night. 

Nell (blushing and confused). John! 

John. Well, Fm waiting. 

Nell (goes to his arms). John! (He kisses her. She 
breaks away and EXITS into house. He stands looking 
after her.) 

John. My own little wife! (All the Patric children put 
their heads over the hedge L. in a mysterious fashion and 
speak in an awed whisper.) 

Children (in chorus). Oh-h-h-h-h-h. We saw him kiss 
her! (They disappear behind hedge; John does not observe 
them, but still stands looking after Nell.) 



SLOW CURTAIN, 



24 An Irish Eden. 



ACT n. 

SCENE. — Same as Act I. Two years later. Time, summer 
evening. DISCOVERED Father Duffy in cassock 
and barretta, asleep in chair l. Dr. Nolan runs on 
from l. 3, with a butterfly net; he cautiously comes down 
toward Father Duffy and brings the net down over his 
head. 

Father D. (springing to his feet). In the name of all 
that's possible, what have we here? 

Dr. N. A thousand pardons! I was chasing a butterfly 
and it came this way. 

Father D. My good friend, does the back of my head 
resemble a butterfly? 

Dr. N. No, no, really, you see I mislaid my spectacles, 
and 

Father D. Mislaid them? Sure man, there they are on 
the back of your head. 

Dr. N. (talcing down spectacles). So they are! Dear me, 
I am getting so absent-minded! 

Father D. Doctor, Doctor, you are what is termed in the 
vernacular of the day, a scream. 

Dr. N. Father Duffy, if you make fun of me, I shall 
call you behind the barn and give you a lesson in the 
manly art of self defense. 

Father D. And that is where you would make the biggest 
mistake of your life. 

Dr. N. And why pray? 

Father D. Did ye never hear of my reputation? 

Dr. N. I did not. 

Father D. In the old country I used to be special con- 
stable at all the county fairs. 

Dr. N. Oh, I see. 

Father D. Sure, an old man like you would stand no 
chance at all at all with a young man like meself. 

Dr. N. Old man ? Old man ? Why I am but eight and 
sixty! 

Father D. You mean six and eighty. 

Dr. N. Nothing of the kind. 

Father D. Sure man, in the first place you're absent- 
minded and in the second place you're Irish, and between the 
two you will never know your right age. 



An Irish Eden. 25 

Dr. N. Father Duffy, you will have your joke. 

Father D. Oh, by the way, were you at Nellie's house 
this afternoon? 

Dr. N. I was there not an hour ago. 

Father D. And how are things in that direction ? 

Dr. N. Bad. Very bad. 

Father D. Is the child worse? 

Dr. N. No, not worse, but no better. 

Father D. Poor Nell, I fear that if her child should die, 
it would break her heart. 

Dr. N. Father, I don't know whether you have noticed it 
or not, but something besides a sick child is amiss in that 
house. I can read it in Nellie's eyes and in my son John's. 
It seems to me as though they were drifting further and 
further apart, whereas the impending danger to their only 
child should bring them closer together. 

Father D. I have noticed nothing of this kind. Pray 
tell me more. 

Dr. N. Would that I could. I hope that I may be wrong, 
yet something tells me that it is time for you and me to 
observe and to act. You and I know this world, they are 
young, remember that. 

Father D. If there is an enstrangement between Nell 
and John, the reason is not hard to find. John's ambition 
for professional honors at the bar, his evenings at his 
club, together with Nell's love for society and its functions 
have made them somewhat forgetful of each other. Now 
that you have brought up the subject, doctor, I can truthfully 
say that I too have noticed that something was wrong, or 
perhaps I should say felt it for sometime past. 

Dr. N. I trust it is not too late to 

Father D. It is never too late to check a mistake, mend 
a wrong, lend a helping hand and to do right. 

Dr. N. You and I will do all of these, Father, and more 
if possible. 

Father D. It is the same old story that often creeps into 
the hearts and lives of young married people. Instead of 
seeking enjoyment in each others company, they look for 
pleasures elsewhere, and thus they never find the hidden 
charms which each possesses. 

ENTER Mike Patric, r. 3, dressed same as in Act I. 

Mike. Good evening, Father. Good evening, Dr. Nolan. 
Father D. and Dr. N. Good evening, Michael. 



26 An Irish Eden. 

Mike. How's the baby at Nellie's house? Have you 
heard ? 

Father D. Not very well, I think. 

Mike. I am sorry to hear that. Tell her that Delia and 
meself will be up to see her the first chance we get. Fm on 
over-time at the shop, and the children worry Delia so in the 
day that we are both thankful when we can rest. After all, 
I think that we will be able to get up to see her to-night. 
Good evening. [EXIT l. 3. 

Father D. There goes a man, uneducated, unrefined we 
might say, yet even he has learned the secret of true happi- 
ness. Come, Doctor, we will go into the house. 
[EXIT Dr. Nolan into house. Father Duffy is about to 
follow when Aunt Susan ENTEKS r. 2. 

Aunt Susan. Father Duffy, Father Duffy. 

Father D. Well, if it isn't Aunt Susan! 

Aunt S. Yes, it sure am me, an Ah done come to gib 
you all a message from Father O'Brien. 

Father D. Yes? 

Aunt S. He say he am goin' ter stop wif de chile for an 
hour or two. 

Father D. And how is the child? 

Aunt S. It war sleepin' when Ah left. 

Father D. Thank heaven for that! And Nellie? 

Aunt S. She am asleep too. Ah done jes forced her ter 
lay down an den, Ah crooned one ob ma ole songs and soon 
she was fas asleep. 

Father D. Aunt Susan, you are a good and faithful 
servant and some day you will be rewarded. 

Aunt S. (courtesying). Thank yo, sah — Ah mean, Father, 
thank you. It sure am powerful good ob yo ter speak to me 
lak dis. 

Father D. Not at all, not at all. [EXIT into house. 

ENTER May, r. 3, carrying sunshade. She is still as 

haughty and snobbish as even 

Aunt S. {turns and sees May; throws up hands in 
surprise). Lor a massy! Ef it aint Missie May! 

May (very haughtily). Aunt Susan. 

Aunt S. It sure am, chile. Yas indeedie! My — my but 
yo sure do look pert. An hows you all been? 

May. Very well. 

Aunt S. Ah am powerful glad to hear dat. Would it be 
much presumin' in my part ter ax yo where yo all has been 
in dese las two years? 



An Irish Eden. 27 

May. I fail to see wherein my personal affairs should 
interest my neighbor's servants, but since you have the 
impudence to ask, I will answer you; I have been abroad. 

Aunt S. Now aint dat jes too gran fo anything (Crosses 
r. aside.) 'Been to Europe. Huh, ah bet she never seen 
a ferry boat. [EXIT r. 2. 

ENTER Harrison l. 3, carrying a cane and smoking a cigar. 

May. I'm glad I told her that; she will tell it to the other 
servants and in less than an hour it will be all over town. 
(Laughs.) 

Harrison (applauds). Encore, encore. Your laughter is 
like the music of sweet bells, do let us have some more of it. 

May (surprised). You! 

Harrison (homing). I cannot deny it. Well, how are 
things in this dead and alive place? (Loolcs about.) Hasn't 
changed much in two years, eh? 

May. I thought you left this town for good. 

Harrison. I did leave it for good. I went away to get 
some money left me by a deceased uncle. And you, are you 
married yet, eh ? 

May. Some people have more impudence than they have 
brains. I have been away on a long visit myself. 

Harrison. Left to get over the shock of Nell getting the 
man you loved, is that it? 

May. I will never get over that. 

Harrison. Nor I. (Becoming excited.) Nell didn't treat 
me fair ; I loved her as much as Nolan, yet she wouldn't have 
me. I'll get even though, if it takes me a lifetime. (Be- 
coming calmer). Pardon my excitement. I am just a little 
bit irritable, been traveling all day, train — tired you know. 

May. Are you here on business? 

Harrison. I returned to see if I could get Nell to return 
to concert singing, there will be a barrel of money in it this 
season. 

May. You must be crazy. Her husband will never permit 
it. 

Harrison. That remains to be seen. Have you seen John 
Nolan since you returned? 

May. No. 

Harrison. No? Strange! 

May. What do you mean? 

Harrison. He is very desirous of seeing you. 

May (eagerly). Who told you that? 

Harrison. He did himself. I dare say he isn't altogether 



28 An Irish Eden. 

happy as a married man. We were speaking of you and he 
said he must see you as soon as possible. That is what I 
got from his general conversation. Now there is some little 
legal matter that he could attend to for you, isn't there? 

May. Yes. 

Harrison. Good. You are going to be at the Van Sloan 
lawn party to-night? 

May. I am on my way home now to dress. 

Harrison. Good again. Now I shall be able to tell him 
that you will see him there. 

May. But I 

Harrison (looking at his watch). You will have to hurry. 
It is getting late. 

May. Very well then, I will hurry. [EXIT r. 3. 

Harrison. There, I think I have arranged that, I am 
becoming a diplomat. Now let me see if I have laid my 
batteries in order. (Sits on edge of table and counts with 
his cane in hand. The following must be spoken very slowly 
and deliberately, making long pauses so as to let the audience 
get the full import of his plans.) Battery number one; 
I must get John Nolan to the Van Sloan's to-night, one 
way or another. Nellie probably knows that May Dempsey 
loved her husband, and no doubt is .jealous. Number two; 
I have given a faint suggestion to May in regard to some 
legal matters that needed straightening out so that when 
she finds out that John did not desire to see her, her pride 
will be hurt and she will have business matters to fall back 
on and thus keep up the conversation until I can have Nell 
arrive on the scene. I said I would get even and this will 
be the first step toward keeping my word. [EXIT L. 3. 

ENTER Nellie r. 3. She is somewhat matured, that is, 
her girlishness is gone. She wears a long dress, and 
walks slowly as if care-worn and tired. She goes to 
house, looks in at door, then crosses and sits in chair 
r. of table. The Angelus rings off stage. 

Nell. The angelus. (Buries head in arms until the 

angelus stops ringing.) 

ENTER Father Duffy from house, small bible in hand) 
crosses and lays hand on Nellie's shoulder. 

Nell (raising her head). Good evening, Father. 
Father D. And how is Nellie this evening? 
Nell. I don't think I feel very well. 



^™™ 



An Irish Eden. 29 

Father D. Nellie, girl, what is the matter with you? 
Why are you so depressed in spirit? 

Nell. I am worried about the baby, that is all. 

Father D. Nothing else ? 

Nell (after a pause). Nothing. 

Father D. Nellie, there is something wrong with you 
and John. (Nellie looks up with a start.) Oh, I know, I 
know. For years I have studied human nature, its trials, 
its disappointments, its sorrows, its joys. Let me help you. 

Nell. No one can help me, Father, no one — I have lost 
that which — Oh, don't ask me any more, please don't. 

Father D. You will not even tell me, your uncle and 
your pastor? 

Nell. Father, I — I have lost John's love. Oh, I have 
tried to hide it, tried to bear it alone, yet I know sooner or 
later I would have to come to you and tell you all. Now 
with the baby so very ill, I feel as though I could not stand 
one drop more of sorrow. I am not a good mother, I know, 
or I would bear it all in silence. Oh Father, Oh Father! 
(Buries her head in her arms.) 

Father D. And what makes you think that John does 
not love you anymore? 

Nell. Because he does not act the same as when we 
were first married. He is cold and distant, he never speaks 
of anything but business, his days are spent at the office and 
his nights at his club, and I am left alone. 

Father D. But he treats you kindly, does he not ? 

Nell. He is always that. 

Father D. Nellie, have you been all to him that you 
could? 

Nell. I? 

Father D. John has given too much time to his busi- 
ness and his club, it is true. Now have you not given too 
much time to society? 

Nell. I have hardly left the house for the past two weeks. 

Father D. The past two weeks are only two weeks in the 
two years of your married life. I know you thought as the 
wife of the famous lawyer Nolan, you should take your 
place in society, and there is no harm in that if done 
moderately. But don't you see that the time you should have 
given to each other was spent in the society of people else- 
where. And so neither of you gave a chance to enjoy the 
true happiness of yourselves. 

Nell. Why, I never thought of that. 

Father D. Of course not! It is not that John does not 



30 An Irish Eden. 

love you. He has become a business man of the world, that's 
all. I shall speak to him as soon as possible, then all things 
will be right once more. (Crosses to house, opens bible and 
reads.) " For one small moment have I forsaken Thee, but 
with great mercy will I gather Thee " There is a beautiful 
passage, Nellie. Think it over. [EXIT into house. 

Nell. Father Duffy is right. Perhaps I have not been to 
John all that a wife should be. I will start all over again. 

ENTER John l. 3, dressed in business suit of black. 
Played quickly and business like. 

John. Hello Nell, you here? The baby must be getting 
better. 

Nell. Though he has not been as well as he should, he 
was sleeping when I left. Was the train late to-night John? 

John. No indeed. I had some business to attend to for 
the c. T. R. r. and came up in an auto with some friends. 

Nell. You will remain home to-night, will you not? 

John. Yes, I think so. I was going to the Van Sloan's 
party to-night as some of the directors of the road will be 
there, and it would be an excellent opportunity for me to 
bring up certain points in the case, but I do not think now 
that I shall have to be there. 

Nell. I am glad of that. John, I want to have a long 
talk with you about ourselves just you and I alone. 

John. There, little girl, we will talk of all these things at 
another time. I know you may have many things to tell me, 
but just now I have some business to talk over with Father 
Duffy. You run along up to the house, I will be there in 
fifteen minutes. There, don't look so disappointed, but run 
along. (Kisses her on the forehead.) 

[EXIT into house. 

Nell. Business — business, always business. No time for 
me. He expects that a few words of encouragement should 
be enough to console me and make me happy. 

ENTER Harrison, r. 3. 

Harrison (holding out hand). Nell, well this is a sur- 
prise ! 

Nell (taking his hand). Harrison Woodworth! I thought 
you were abroad! 

Harrison. I was, for a short time. You're looking well, 
Nell. 

Nell. Thank you. I suppose you are still in the concert 
business ? 



An Irish Eden. 31 

Harrison. No, I am not. I have never been able to find 
another singer like you. 

Nell {half smiling). You surely haven't lost your gift 
of flattery. 

Harrison. It is not flattery Nell, but gospel truth. Nell, 
haven't you ever thought that you would like to try your 
hand again? 

Nell {shaking her head in the negative). I am married 
now, you know. 

Harrison. True, I had forgotten that. And are you 
happy? 

Nell {hesitating). Happy? — Yes. 

Harrison. Have you never thought that you would like to 
sing before a big audience once again, to hear the music of 
honest applause from thousands? 

Nell. Never. 

Harrison. I suppose it is best that you put the past be- 
hind you. Though you had some happy days in the old 
field. 

Nell. Yes, I did have some happy days. And I often 
look back over them and in my imagination I enjoy them 
all over again. 

Harrison. Pardon me for changing the subject. Are you 
going to Van Sloan's garden party this evening? 

Nell. No, neither John nor I will be there. 

Harrison. You say your husband is not going? Strange, 
I thought be was — at least May Dempsey told me he was to 
meet her there. 

Nell {with suppressed emotion). Are you sure? Are you 
absolutely sure? 

Harrison. Why, yes. I hope I haven't said anything 
that would have been better if left unsaid. 

Nell {forgetting Harrison's presence). He is going 
there, and he told me he would remain at home. He — is — 
going — to — meet — her — -there. {With decision.) I too will 
be there. Yes, I will see for myself. If I have misjudged 
him, I will bow myself in humiliation the rest of my life, 
and if he has been false to me, I will never forgive him. 
Never, never, never! [EXIT r. 2. 

Harrison. The game is on and jealousy is trumps. Who 
knows, she may leave John Nolan and I shall win her after 
all. {Goes toward gate.) 

John {from house). No, Father I shall not forget. 

ENTER John from house, followed by Father Duffy, who 
stands in the doorway. 



32 An Irish IJden. 

I will go down to the village at once, it will only take a few 
moments. 

Father D. And don't forget what I told you about Nellie. 

John. I shan't forget, never fear. 

Father D. I will be up to see you and Nellie some time 
to-night. [EXIT into house. 

(John starts up c. and meets Harrison.) 

Harrison. John Nolan! 

John (taking him by the hand). Harrison Woodworth! 
As I'm alive! What brings you to these parts? 

Harrison. Thought I'd run up and see old friends, you 
know. 

John. Then we shall have the pleasure of your company 
up at the house. 

Harrison. Thank you, but my time will be taken up for 
some days yet. By the way, I met May Dempsey on her 
way to the Van Sloan's; she is leaving town I think, and 
requested me to ask you to meet her there. 

John. Must she see me to-night? 

Harrison. It is some legal matter of great importance; 
she said it would only take a few moments to settle it. 

John. In that case I think I will be able to see her. I 
am on my way down to the village and will drop in at the 
Van Sloan's on my way back. See vou later Woodworth. 

[EXIT l. 3. 

Harrison. The last card has been plaved. Now for the 
final trick. [EXIT r. 2. 

ENTEE Tom and Anna l. 3. 

Tom. I wonder if Nellie and John are going to the Van 
Sloan's to-night. 

Anna. No, I don't think so. 

Tom. Wait until we get married, then we will give 
garden parties, eh? 

Anna. Of course we will. 

Tom. And we will invite all our friends. 

Anna. All but the McDonalds. 

Tom. We must invite the McDonalds. 

Anna. We will do nothing of the kind. 

Tom. Now Anna, don't be spiteful. 

Anna. Spiteful — spiteful, the idea! If you say that 
again I will never marry you at all. 

Tom. Oh, very well. 



An Irish Eden. 33 

Anna. Oh, I know it would please you. Then you could 
marry Jennie Carroll. 

Tom. Yes, and you could marry Walter Smith. 

Anna. You mean, mean thing! I am going to call our 
engagment off right here. Fm going home and get every 
present you ever gave me and give it back to you. 

[EXIT l. 3. 

Tom. Well if that's the case, I will get all the presents she 
ever gave me and return them. [EXIT r. 3. 

ENTER Mrs. Murphy from house. 

Mrs. M. Sure, I wonder what can be keepin' Schmidt, 
he should have been here long ago. (Sits on bench.) 

ENTER Schmidt r. 3, wearing Sunday clothes. 

Schmidt. Hello Mrs. Moypee. 

Mrs. M. Is that you Louis ? 

Schmidt. MY, but you look nice! 

Mrs. M. I'm glad you think so. (Schmidt sits beside 
her.) 

Schmidt. You look yust like a peach. 

Mrs. M. Get along with your blarney. 

Schmidt. Get along mit bologna ! I didn't brung you no 
bologna. 

Mrs. M. (laughing). Bologna? Louis, you will be the 
death of me. 

Schmidt. Say do you know, every time I look at you 
my heart yumps up in my ear. 

Mrs. M. That's more blarney. 

Schmidt. Say, vot is dis bologna bisness? 

Mrs. M. Sure blarney is a word that we use in the auld 
country. 

Schmidt. Ireland must pe a great place! 

Mrs. M. It is that ! That's the land where me heart is. 

Schmidt. Iss dot so ? Did you forgot to pring your heart 
mit you? 

Mrs. M. Me heart is in the land of Shamrock. (Sighs.) 

Schmidt. Den der man vot marries you will get a heart- 
less voman, vot? 

Mrs. M. (aside). He's startin' to propose again. I'll 
make him finish it this time, if I have to do the proposin' 
meself. (Aloud.) Heartless woman did ye say? Is it any 
wonder with all me years of loneliness? 

Schmidt (aside). I vish I hat spunk enough to ask her 



34 An Irish Eden. 

to marry me. (Aloud.) Mrs. Moypee, der is somethings 
vot I vont to said mit you. 

Mrs. M. Yes — yes. 

Schmidt. It iss — iss — er. 

Mrs. M. Yes, it is, er? 

Schmidt. I tink I vill go home. (He starts to rise; she 
gets him by the coat and pulls him bach.) 

Mrs. M. Ah, don't go yet! (Aside.) If he don't hurry 
up, I'll bust, I'm that nervous. 

Schmidt (aside). I vish I could say it in German and 
make her understand. I will try it. (Aloud.) Mrs. 
Moypee ! 

Mrs. M. Yes! 

Schmidt. Ich liebe dich! 

Mrs. M\ I don't know what you mean, but anyway this 
is so sudden! (She falls in his arms.) 

Schmidt. Hurrah ! I haf met de enemy and she iss mine. 

Mrs. M. (coming to). Where am I? 

Schmidt. Here, me darlink ! Now tell me ven ve vill be 
married. 

Mrs. M. As soon as possible, if not sooner. Now come 
around to the kitchen and I will give ye a fine cup of tea. 

Schmidt. Sure. 

[EXIT bach of house, followed by Mrs. M. 

ENTEE Anna l. 3, and Tom r. 3. Anna carries about 
twenty boxes and bundles, which she drops on ground. 
Tom carries a single neehtie. 

Anna. There is every present you ever gave me. 

Tom (holding out necktie). And here are every one of 
the presents you gave me. 

Anna (Stamping her foot). Oh you hateful — hateful 
thing! [EXIT r. 3. 

Tom (running after her). Anna, Anna, wait a minute. 

[EXIT r. 3. 

ENTER Mrs. Murphy from house; sees presents. 

Mrs. M. My! My! Look at this! Santa Claus is com- 
ing early this year ! (Picks them up one by one until she has 
them all in her arms.) 

RE-ENTER Anna and Tom. 

Anna. Its all right Mrs. Murphy, Tom and I have made 
it all up again. 



An Irish Udeii. 35 

Mrs. M. {unconcerned). Is that so? Well, I'm glad of 
that! 

Anna. Yes. Now if you will please let me have my 
presents 

Mrs. M. Your presents? 

Anna. Yes, those you have in your arm. 

Mrs. M. These? Sure I found these and what I find 
I holds on ter. [EXIT bach of house. 

Anna. Well, I'll just give her a piece of my mind. 

[EXIT bach of house. 

Tom. Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world ! 

[EXIT after Anna. 

ENTER Nellie l. 3, very much aggitated. Father Duffy 
enters from house. {From now on the scene must be 
worhed up to a climax.) 

Father D. Nellie, child, what is it? 

Nellie {drops in chair l. of table). Its — its — John — 
John. 

Father D. What of him? 

Nell. He lied to me, he was at Van Sloan's to-night and 
with May Dempsey. He told me he was not going, yet for 
a few moments with her, he would sacrifice my belief in 
him, my love for him. Not only that, he gave to her the 
moments he should have spent with our child, his child, 
sick, God knows perhaps unto death ! 

Father D. Nellie — Nellie don't say these things unless 
you are sure. 

Nell {sobs). Sure? I saw him there. 

ENTER John l. 3. 

John. Why Nellie, what is the matter? 

Nell {rising). Don't touch me! Don't come near me! 

John {surprised). Nellie, what do you mean? 

Nell. This, that for the sake of our child we will live to 
the world as man and wife, but to each other we will be 
strangers. 

ENTER Aunt Susan r. 2, rushes in and falls at Nellie's 

feet. 

Aunt S. Missis Nellie — Missie Nellie! 
Nell. What is it. Speak! 

Aunt S. Father O'Brien says you is to come quick. 
De baby 



36 An Irish Eden. 

Nell. The baby? Is he worse? 

Aunt S. Yes. (Nellie starts up as Father O'Brien 
ENTERS r. 2.) 

Father O'B. You need not hasten. It is finished. 
(Dramatic pause.) 

Nell (in intense whisper). Dead — my baby is dead? 

Father O'B. Yes. (Nellie drops bach in chair, sobbing. 
Father Duffy crosses and lays his hand on her shoulder.) 
Nellie, it is His will. 

Nellie. But my baby, Father, he is dead — dead ! He will 
never call me mother again, never rest in my arms! Oh, 
why is death so cruel ! My baby — my baby — dead — dead ! 

Father D. Nellie, be strong. 

Nell (half hysterical). I will, for this is the end. The 
final link has been broken! I'll go back to the old life, I'll 
go back — I'll say farewell to you all forever! 

John. Nell, you surely don't mean that! 

Nell (with contempt). You! You! Why should you 
care? Am I not leaving you to be free? 

Father D. Nellie, you surely don't mean that this is the 
end of all? 

Nell. I do mean that this is the end. 

ENTER Harrison r. 2, hears Nellie's speech. 

I am going back to the old life. 
Harrison. Nell ! 
Nell. But not with you! 

CURTAIN. 



ACT in. 



SCENE. — Same as Act I. and II. A few weeks later. 
Morning. DISCOVERED, Father Duffy in cassock 
and barretta, arranging table and chairs in center of 
stage. He places a chair on either side of the table. 

ENTER Dr. Nolan, l. 3. 

Dr. N. Good morning, Father. Are you going to the 
wedding ? 

Father D. I am, as soon as I can arrange my case. 

Dr. N. Your case? Have you a case then? 

Father D. I have. I have a case on with the devil. 



An Irish Eden. 37 

Dr. N. With the devil? Are you mad, or am I? 

Father D. I'm not, and if one of us must be, you must 
be that one. 

Dr. N. Yes, I guess I am. Dear me, I'm getting so 
absent-minded ! But tell me about your case. 

Father D. Well, you know of course that John and 
Nellie have decided that they should live apart. They 
decided that they wanted a legal separation. Now I know 
that separations are the devil's work, so I decided to give 
them a separation of my own making and not the devil's, 
thus beating the devil at his own game. 

Dr. N. Dear me! Dear me, it is all a most unfortunate 
affair. By the way, I saw Harrison Woodworth sneaking 
on a train for New York a few nights ago. 

Father D. Yes, it was at my suggestion that he left town, 
and its lucky for him that he did. After all the harm he 
has done, I'm afraid that if I should have met him I would 
have given him a long penance. 

Dr. N. I should havo given him something more 
substantial than that. 

Father D. I remember a case that happened about ten 
years ago. I was passing a certain house one night when I 
heard a woman scream. And I tell you that scream will 
remain with me until my dying day ; she was being murdered, 
I thought. In less time than it takes to tell, I was in that 
house and in the very room from whence the scream had 
come. And such a sight! There was a big brute of a man 
beating a poor sickly looking woman. Well, the first thing I 
did was to say a prayer to my patron saint that I might keep 
myself from killing the brute. a What's that going on 
here?" say I. "Can't you see," says he. "I can" says I. 
" Then shut up " says he " Or you will get some of the same 
medicine." With that he sprung for me and I was obliged to 
give him a severe penance. 

Dr. N. Was it very severe? 

Father D. It was. That man was obliged to sit up every 
night for a week and bathe his face in witch-hazel. 

ENTER Mr. and Mrs. Patric and all the children, l. 3, and 

cross R. 

Mike. Good morning, Father, and Dr. Nolan. 

Father. Good morning folks. All going to the wedding, 
I suppose? 

Mike. We are that, and to the breakfast too. Delia and 
I were going alone, but when the children heard that there 



38 An Irish Eden. 

was to be ice cream, there was no keeping them away. 
(To the children). Come along there, you army of trouble. 

[All EXIT r 3. 
Mrs. M. (off stage). Hurry up, Schmidt, or we will be 
late. 

ENTER Mrs. Murphy l. 3, leading Schmidt by the hand. 

Father D. Hello, hello, here's Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt all 
fixed up for the wedding. 

Mrs. M. We are, if we will ever get there. Schmidt is as 
slow as the Dublin cart. (To Schmidt). Have you a 
handkerchief ? 

Schmidt. Yah. 

Mrs. M. Then come along. (Church bell rings off stage.) 
There goes the last bell! (She grabs Schmidt by the hand 
and pulls him off r. 3.) 

Dr. N. I think I will be going myself. Are you coming, 
Father? 

Father D. No. Father O'Brien is to perform the 
ceremony. I have business that will keep me here. 

Dr. N. Very well then. (Starts R. and walks into a wood 
wing.) Dear me, I am getting so absent-minded. 

[EXIT r. 2. 

Father D. (sighing). I wish Nellie and John would 
come, I am getting nervous. [EXIT into house. 

ENTER Nellie, l. 3, in mourning dress; comes down and 
sits in chair l. of table. 

Nell. Anna has a beautiful day for her wedding! How 
I would like to be at the church! I could not stand it 
though, for it would recall all my own joys on my wedding 
day and the agonies I have since suffered. 

ENTER Father Duffy from house. 

Father D. You are on time, Nellie. 

Nell. Yes, Father. Has John, I mean Mr. Nolan, 
arrived yet? 

Father D. Not yet, though I know he is in town because 
he telephoned me from the railroad station. Nellie, before 
we go on with the case this morning I must again inform 
you, as you already know, that all this came about by the 
lies of Harrison Woodworth. Even poor May Dempsey was 
innocent of any intentional harm. She told me the whole 
story before she went to live with her mother's folks in the 



An Irish EdetL 39 

South. Is there nothing but a separation that will mend 
this wrong, that is, if any wrong has been done? 

Nell. Father, it is his wish and mine too. 

Father D. (aside). My, my, but it takes the Irish to be 
stubborn! (To Nell.) Very well, then I will go into the 
house and get the papers I have drawn up. 

Nell. Are you not going to have a lawyer ? 

Father D. Not yet a while. The church's claim comes 
first in these matters and I am here to represent the church. 
(Aside). First round for Father Duffy. 

[EXIT into house. 

ENTER Anna, r. 2, in bridal gown and wreath. 

Anna. Nell ! 

Nell (surprised). Anna! 

Anna. I saw you from my window sitting over here, 
and I felt that I must speak to you before I get married 
so I ran away. They are waiting at the church for two 
more carriages and I suppose by now they are wondering 
what has happened to the bride. 

Nell. You foolish girl! 

Anna. I know I am, but I can't help it, I am so happy. 
Nell, I wish you were. Won't you come over to the church 
and see me married? 

Nell. No, Anna, I would rather not. 

Anna. I understand Nell, forgive me. You will wish me 
good luck? 

Nell. Yes, and kiss you too. (Kisses Anna.) 

Anna. Nell, you can always say you were the last person 
to kiss Anna Ryan. When I see you again I will be Mrs. 
Blake. (Laughs and EXIT r. 2.) 

ENTER John l. 3, in black suit, carrying traveling bag 
which he leaves at hedge. He comes down on opposite 
side of table to Nell. 

John. Nell. 

Nell. John. (They shake hands in a very cold and 
formal manner.) 

ENTER Father Duffy from house, carrying legal docu- 
ments. 

Father D. So you are here at last, John? 
John. Yes, Father. 



40 An Irish Eden. 

Father D. (steps behind table. Nell and John are on 
either side). Then we will proceed with the business before 
us. 

Nell. Yes, please do not take longer than is necessary. 

Father D. (reads from documents, very business like). 
This document gives to Nellie the right to retain the house 
up yonder. (Drops his voice to a conversational tone.) 
Many are the happy moments I had at the old place. I 
remember when you two were first married, how when you 
returned from your honeymoon, I called upon you and tried 
to tell you how you should arrange things. (Nell and 
John forget themselves and let their thoughts travel bach 
to the early happy days of their married life.) You both 
pretended to be greatly interested and all the while you were 
wondering if I would ever go. (They all laugh.) 

Father D. (resuming business-like manner). But I had 
forgotten we are here to speak of the present, not of the past. 
(Nellie and John again become serious.) This document, 
John, gives you the right to retain — - (Becomes conversa- 
tional.) By the way, speaking of that night I called upon 
you, do you know, I think I would have been there yet if 
Father O'Brien hadn't come along and whispered in my ear 
" Father, as the sayin' of the day goes, You're buttin' in." 
(Nellie and John again forget why they are there.) 

Nell. Oh, I was glad to see you, it was John's fault. 
He wanted me all for himself. He didn't even want anyone 
to talk to me. 

John. Me? Why, you yourself said coming home on the 
train that you hoped no one would call for a week at least. 

Nell. But that did not include Father Duffy. 

John. Oh yes, it did. If I am not mistaken, you said 
you even didn't want him to call. 

Nell. Oh — Oh — I never said anything of the kind. You 
know I was glad to see you, Father, don't you? 

Father D. Of course I do. 

Nell. There, Smarty, he knows I was glad to see him. 

John. Oh, well. 

Nell. Yes, that is the only thing you can say. That's 
because you are caught. 

John. Caught? I'd like to know how I am caught! 

(Father Duffy tip-toes off into house.) 

Nell. You know very well it was you and not I who said 
you hoped that no one would call for a week after we got 



An Irish Eden. 41 

home, and that you wished that not only the moon but also 
the sun and stars were made of honey. 

John (sitting on edge of table beside Nellie). I know I 
did, that was because I loved you. Because I was and always 
wanted to be the happiest man in the world. 

Nell. And I was the happiest girl. 

John. It seemed that we were only children then. 

Nell. Yes, two happy and care-free children. 

John. And now? 

Nell (becoming serious). And now — and now we have 
forgotten why we are here. 

John (sighs). We are indulging in dreams of yesterday. 
(They turn and see that Father Duffy is not present.) 

John (calls). Father, Father Duffy! 

ENTER Father Duffy from house. 

Father Duffy. Excuse me, I went inside for my 
handkerchief. 

John. Will you please continue with the reading of the 
separation papers. 

Father D. It is not necessary to read them further, you 
can both sign them and that will end the matter. There 
is one piece of property not mentioned in either of the 
documents. (Plaintive music. Father Duffy speaks very 
low.) It is a little burial lot in the cemetery on the hill; 
that cannot be divided. Neither that nor the memories of a 
father and mother. The soul of the little body that rests 
there is with God in Heaven, the dust belongs to you both. 
(Holds out fountain-pen.) You will both sign here. 
(John and Nell reach out for the pen^ they look into each 
others eyes; pause.) 

Nell (goes into John's arms). John! 

John. My wife! 

Father D. Hurrah ! The devil has lost and Fve won the 
ease! (Nellie is crying.) 

John. Don't cry, Nellie. 

Nellie. I — I — can't help it. (To Father Duffy.) 
Father, Uncle, I thank you. 

John (holding out his hand which Father Duffy takes). 
And I. 

Father D. Do not thank me, but God, who showed me 
the way to bring back two of the fold that were about to 
stray from his teachings. 

John. We will, Father. Come, Nellie we will go home. 



43 An Irish Eden. 

[Both EXIT r. 2, John's arm about Nellie; her head 
resting on his shoulder. 

Father D. (removes his hat and stands in center of stage, 
his eyes raised to Heaven). And a little child shall lead 
them. (Bows his head as if in prayer.) 



CURTAIN. 



SHAUN AROON 

Am Irish Drama in three acts, by CHARLES TOWNSEND 

PRICE, 25 CENTS 

▲ brilliant Irish drama with a powerful plot and striking situations, full of bright 
Irith wit. Being wholly original m conception, it contains none # of the threadbare 
incidents so common to plays of this class; but, instead, is a true picture of Irish home 
life with well-drawn characters and life-like movement. Though devoid of all sensa- 
tional features, this play will command and hold the interest of spectators from first to 
last. It has met with pronounced favor on the road, under its author's management. 
Can be played in any hall. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS 
Shaun Aroon, . . .A roving fellow, with a light purse and a lighter heart. 
Lord Fermoy (disguised as " Bad Andy "), • A good-hearted landlord. 

Fergus Riordan, Fermoy's rascally agent. 

Dan O'Grady, A sturdy old farmer. 

Old Hennings, ••••• A money-lender. 

Nipper, . A detective. 

Patrick, . . A servant. 

Mrs. O'Grady, •••• Dan's wife. 

Molly, His daughter. 

Maggie, A maid-servant. 

Time, The present. Scene, Lord Fermoy's Estate. Time of Playing, 2% hours. 

SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS 

Act I. — Parlor in the " King's Arms" hotel. The old farmer and the scheming 
agent. The plot. Shaun and " Bad Andy." Fergus is surprised. 4l Lave me choke 
him a bit!" Shaun's suspicions. Molly and Maggie. A bit of blarney. Molly makes 
a discovery. Fergus surprised again. " Are you hurt? " Fergus makes a proposal. 
The answer. ** 1 ve a mind to strike you ! " Shaun on hand. His answer. 

Act II. — Sitting-room at O'Grady's. A lapse of six months. Mother and daughter. 
Molly's reason. Dan's sorrow. " God bless you, my colleen ! " The alarm. Fergus 
learns a secret. The money-lender. Fergus 1 threat. Shaun and Maggie. A rumpus. 
Molly decides. Shaun's advice. The arrest. ** Stand back, or I'll brain ye! " Tableau. 

Act III. — At Fermoy castle. A lapse of two hours. Pat in clover. Maggie 
seeks information. A muscular maiden. Hennings gets mad. Bad Andy learns 
something. The attempted whipping. " Dance, or I'll cut ye into fiddle strings!" 
The letter. The arrest of Shaun and Bad Andy. Tom's promise. The examination 
Hennings gets even. "Who are you?" "Fermoy of Fermoy Castle 1" Fergu^, 
weakens. The confession. Shaun's invitation. Happy ending. 

JOHN BRAG ~" 

A Farce In Foot Acte, by GORDON V. MAY 

Price, 25 Cents 



Eight male, five female characters. A farce in which all the characters have an 
opportunity of distinguishing themselves. The play abounds in ludicrous situations, 
and is certain to be a success. The scenes between the lawyer and doctor are sure to 
bring down the house every time. Time of playing, two hours nnd a half. 

Act I. — Library in Brag's home. The trouble begins. 
Act II. — Same as Act I. The trouble continues. 
Act III. — Garden in front of Brag's home. More trouble. 
Act IV. — Same as Acts I and II. The trouble ends. 

Six months between Acts I and II. An evening between Acts II and III. Acts 
III and IV occur the same day. 

|Sy Copies will If mailed, pestpaid, U any address^ on receipt 0/ the Price* 



ROBERT EMMET (New Version) 
A Drama in three acts, revised by CHARLES TOWNSEND. 

PRICE, 15 CENTS 

This new version of this great historical drama, originally requiring elab- 
orate scenery, is so simplified Dy reducing the stage settings to four scenes— -2 
interiors ana 2 exteriors, that it can easily be represented with the ordinary re- 
sources of Town and Village halls, but retaining the plot and action of the orig- 
inal drama. 

DRAMATIS PERSONS 

Robert Emmet, the Irish Patriot Sergeant Topfall) of the English 

Darby O'Gaff, Sprig of the Emerald Isle Corporal Thomas J Army 

O'Leary. an old Soldier Lord Norbury ) 

Dowdall, Friend to Emmet Baron George Vthe Judges 

Kernan, a Traitor Baron Daly ) 

Maria, Emmet's Wife Judy O'Dougherty, beloved by 

Peasants, Soldiers, Colleagues of Emmet's, Constables, Jury. [Darby 
Time of Representation.— Two Hours. 



SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS 

Act I.— The Spy,—" where have I seen that mug before? " The disguise, the 
wrestle, defeat, recognition. The prisoner, the Sergeant baffled, the rescue, the 
Judge—" My name is Robert Emmet ! " 

Act II.— Emmet's home— the letter, " I shall be home to-day.*' The wife's 
plea. The search, Darby's stratagem. The secret conclave. The traitor un- 
masked. The escape and betrayal . 

Act III.— Darby and Judy, " Hurrah for America ! " Emmet a prisoner, the 
trial, guilty, sentence of death, the parting from his wife. Emmet's fruitless appeal. 

BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE; 

OR, SHE WOULD BE A WIDOW 

An Original Farce-Comedy in Three Acts, for Laughing Purposes Only 

By LEVIN C. TEES 

Price, 25 Cents 



Eleven male, six female characters (by doubling, the piece can be played by seven 
gentlemen and four ladies). The leading male parts offer great opportunities for two 
comedians ; the remaining male characters will yield barrels of fun. All of the female 
parts are first-rate and none of them difficult to play. As played by Matthews & 
Bulger, under the name of at " At Gay Coney Island," this play has won applause 
everywhere from packed houses. It is a laugh-producer all around. Time of play- 
ing, two and a half hours. 

SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS 

Act I.— Dr. Syrup's office. An M.D. in the dumps. ** When are you going to pay 
me my wages, sa-ay?" Making 'em feel at home. Poor Willie. Striking a bargain. 
Uncle Abel s scheme. Daisy in a scrape. An unprincipled plumber with a classical 
countenance. A deputy sheriff taking stock on the quiet. Throwing out the wrong man. 
Fifty dollars for a husband. Doctor, the bath-tub is busted and the house is afloat ! 

Act II. — The home of Butternut'* bride in Madison Avenue. Not such a soft 
snap after all. "When I win my wife's affections, I'll raise your wages." Willie 
floored and the ladies have a little set-to. Old acquaintances hatch a nice little plot. 
The doctor and the undertaker disappear through the window, and the plumber 
assumes control of the establishment. The greatest scheme of all. A burglar goes 
a burgling. Another surprise for old Butternut. Uncle Abel is mistaken for a lunatic 
and run off to the asylum, and Gophir Bill takes the last trick. 

Act III. — Hotel parlor at Dover. Uncle Abel, bent on vengeance, sets a trap 
for the plumber. Butternut on a bicycle. * 4 She bought you for a job lot and got 
stuck." "Fixing" the Legislature. "Telling her alL" Willie's infernal machine. 
Making a will in a hurry. Mrs. Syrup gives up boxing lessons, and the doctor gets 
another chance in business. The infernal machine knocks out the Legislature. Butter* 
But on the matrimonial market again. Finale. 




SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 



MILITARY PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

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BY THE ENEMY'S HAND. 4 Acts; 2 hours 10 

EDWARDS, THE SPY. 5 Acts; 2% hours 10 

PRISONER OF ANDERSOKVILLE. 4 Acts; 234 hours.. 10 

CAPTAIN DICK. 3 Acts; 1}4 hours 9 

ISABEL, THE PEARL OF CUBA. 4 Acts; 2 hours 9 

LITTLE SAVAGE. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 4 

BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (15 cents.) 5 Acts; V/ 2 hours 9 
BETWEEN TWO FIRES. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2 hours 8 




RURAL PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

MAN FROM MAINE. 5 Acts; 2J4 hours 9 3 

AMONG THE BERKSHIRES. 3 Acts; 2^ hours 8 4 

OAK FARM. 3 Acts; 2^ hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 

GREAT WINTERSON MINE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 4 

SQUIRE THOMPKINS' DAUGHTER. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 5 2 

WHEN A MAN'S SINGLE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 4 4 

FROM PUNKIN RIDGE. (15 cents.) 1 Act; lhour... 6 3 

LETTER FROM HOME. (15 cents.) 1 Act; 25 minutes 1 1 



ENTERTAINMENTS 

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AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. 1 Scene 5 11 

BACHELOR MAIDS' REUNION. 1 Scene 2 30 

IN THE FERRY HOUSE. 1 Scene; 1^ hours 19 15 

JAPANESE WEDDING. 1 Scene; 1 hour 3 10 

MATRIMONIAL EXCHANGE . 2 Acts ; 2 hours 6 9 

OLD PLANTATION NIGHT. 1 Scene; \% hours 4 4 

YE VILLAGE SKEWL OF LONG AGO. 1 Scene. 13 12 

FAMILIAR FACES OF A FUNNY FAMILY 8 11 

<| JOLLY BACHELORS. Motion Song or Recitation 11 

U CHRISTMAS MEDLEY. 3ft minntps 15 14 

8 

Act; m hours 1 13 

5 cents) 11 8 

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COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 

25 CENTS EACH 

m. r. 

BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4 Acts; 2 hours 6 3 

BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; 2^ hours H 6 

COLLEGE CHUMS. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 9 3 

COUNT OF NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; 2}^ hours 9 4 

DEACON. 5 Acts; 2]/ 2 hours 8 6 

DELEGATES FROM DEFTER. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 

DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 5 

EASTSIDERS, The. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 8 4 

ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 

GIRL FROM PORTO RICO- 3 Acts; 2}/ 2 hours 5 3 

GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2y 2 hours 5 3 

IN THE ABSENCE OF SUSAN. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 6 

JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2)4 hours 6 3 

JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4Acts;2hours 7 4 

MY LADY DARRELL. 4 Acts; 2)4 hours 9 6 

MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2% hours 13 4 

NEXT DOOR. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 4 

PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 

REGULAR FLIRT. 3 Acts; 2 hours 4 4 

ROGUE'S LUCK. 3 Acts; 2hours 5 3 

SQUIRE'S STRATAGEM. 5 Acts; 2\i hours 6 4 

STEEL KING. 4 Acts; 2\/ 2 hours 5 3 

WHAT'S NEXT? 3 Acts; 2^ hours 7 4 

WHITE LIE. 4Acts; 2% hours 4 3 



WESTERN PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

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GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 234 hours 11 3 

RED ROSETTE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 3 

MISS MOSIIER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2^ hours .... 5 3 

STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 

CRAWFORD'S CLAIM. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 234 hours. 9 3 




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